relationships Therapeutic Thursdays

Should We Come with a WARNING Label? PART DOS

Hello!  Upon thinking about this topic some more (Shall We Come with a WARNING Label?), I find it interesting that IF we were in a relationship, and a friend’s mirrored ours, we’d advise them to leave but not take our own advise. For example, if I were dating someone who told me they did not want to commit, and I stuck around because I was in love and believed that it would “all work out in the end”, and my friend told me he was in a relationship with a woman that did not want to commit, but he wanted to stay believing that she would change her mind. I’d advise him to let her go and move on. Explaining that she has already stated that she did not want to be in a relationship, so why believe she’d change her mind. If she didn’t realize already how awesome he was by now, who knows when that would happen, and he’d just be angry in the end. Which he shouldn’t be since she’d already said she didn’t want a relationship to begin with. I would see my situation as being different, because the person I’m in love with, will surely change his mind….not lol Then I’d yell at myself when I snapped out of it.  I’ve done this before so I know.  People tell you who they are, believe them.  Why do we not see these things for ourselves?  And if we do, why does one convince themselves that things will be different this time?  Is it that we secretly want the same thing, to not commit?  When did you realize it was time to let go? If you find yourself in a situation as stated above, ask yourself this, “what are you telling the universe you want?”  I remember watching The Wedding Date, and a line in the movie made so much sense.  The father is talking to Kat, the main character, that is still pining over the man who loved her for seven years and called off their wedding because he was sleeping with her sister(which she never knew), she’d brought an escort to her sister’s wedding (marrying another guy) to make her ex jealous…I remember reading a fascinating articIe in the New York Times Magazine once, where this guy said, “Every woman has the exact love life she wants.” You know what? I agree with him. But I refuse to believe that this is what you want, Kat.’   I do not believe that we want to be in relationships that bring us nothing but misery. The sooner you realize that the faster things will start to change in your life! Focusing on the positive, the happy things you want to come to be, will make it come. If you choose to focus on the negative, all the things you do not want, well guess what, you’ll get what you don’t want. On this terrific day, Focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.

A penny for your thoughts?  What advice could you give someone trying to end a relationship (officially committed or not)?  How can a person take charge of their love life?

Until then,

6 replies on “Should We Come with a WARNING Label? PART DOS”

This post could definitely be summed up with your phrase: “People tell you who they are, believe them!” << YES! Why should we believe any differently?! The scenario you paint is all too common though. I guess people can’t see when their in the same situation they would advise against – only because they are in it…oh well…guess this goes to show that we better open our eyes! 🙂 ~Kesha

So true, human nature. As I get older I try to think: What would I advise a friend? Why can’t I take my own advice and try to head in that direction. It’s always hard to see the truth for ourselves and easier to see it for others.

Yes, it is quite perplexing, why we do not take our own advise, I guess that is human nature indeed in play. Thanks for stopping by Lisa 🙂

I do agree 100% with people telling you who they are. I don’t know that you really can help a friend leave a realtionship. I think you just be there for them and let them know how you feel. I think mostly people stay because of fear. They are mor afraid of being alone than they are of staying in there current situation.

Yes, fear can be an ugly thing 🙁 At the end of the day all you can do is be there for them and hope the mess is not TOO big. Thanks for stopping by Arlett 🙂

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