|At 9 monts… Belly Paint by: Alicia Cobb
Photos by: Shanna T. Melton
I wanted you before you before you even formed in my womb. Imagine the excitement when I discovered in 9 months my dream would soon become a reality. I constantly found myself daydreaming about you and all the things you and I would do together. I smiled as I thought about the person you’d grow to be. Would you be an avid reader like mommy? Or would you be poetic and musically-inclined like daddy? Would you play football, basketball, baseball, or soccer? Would you be adventurous or would you be comedic? Although my mind was consumed w/all the wonderful things you’d do and the great person you’d become, the moment I heard your heartbeat I was jolted back into reality. Was it selfish of me to want you so bad that I would knowingly birth you into a cold, cruel, ending world? Aware of the fact that our Black men are being annihilated at alarming rates caused me to fear for your life before you even made your journey through the birth canal. I pondered the many ways I’d protect you from this world that was waiting to devour you. Could I cradle you in my arms and shield your innocent eyes from the ills of Amerika? Maybe I could just keep you sheltered at home causing you to be socially handicapped.
With all that has been going on recently in this city we call home, I wish I could securely place you back in my womb until all this blows over and all is well. If that were somehow possible, you may have never been born.
Now that you are here, I pray God’s covering over your precious life. I pray I make wise decisions in raising you. I pray as you grow you make even wiser decisions. I love you!!!