Engagements relationships weddings

Do you have cold feet?

Do you have COLD feet? Are you having second thoughts about getting married? Part of the Wedding Planning Series on My Pocketful of Thoughts;

“Do you have cold feet?” 

“Do I have cold feet? What do you mean?” 

“Are you getting nervous about getting married?”

I’ve been getting this question quite a bit lately. Engaged couples should be asked happy questions. Like . . . Are you excited about your big day? Asking someone if they have cold feet, sounds . . . negative . . . right? Why do we ask this question? How do you answer?

My response:

If I were wearing flip flops and the air conditioning was blasting, my feet would be cold, yes. No, I do not have cold feet about the wedding. I’m actually done with this waiting period. I am impatiently waiting to walk down the aisle. It feels like I’ve been counting down forever and a day.

I’m impatiently waiting to walk down the aisle . . . 122 days, 17 hours, 31 minutes and 26 seconds.

BUT if you had asked me that question a year ago . . . my answer would be the complete opposite. When Daniel and I discussed our goals for 2013, getting engaged was on the list. Most people don’t want to know that a proposal is coming up because they want the element of surprise. How many of us waiting on a ring, think about it nonstop? Plus its not like he gave me a date and time. I actually appreciate being given a heads up. It helped me sort through my thoughts ahead of time.

Did you know a proposal was coming?

If cold feet means that I’m not sure about getting married to Daniel, the answer will always be no. We all have those random thoughts in our head that make us question if we’re ready to step out of our comfort zone. Am I ready to be married? Will I be a good spouse? Will we kill each other? Am I prepared to be a parent? Can I let go of my controlling nature and let my husband lead? Do I have enough time to pay down the rest of my debt? . . . the last question keeps me up most nights. I never wanted to start a marriage with my debt. My friends, Janeane and Brandi, told me to stop worrying. “If you wait until you are debt free to get married . . . You may NEVER get married.” They are totally right. We just have to hush those voices down though. If you can’t do it yourself, talk it out with those who have walked down the aisle before you and your besties.

Did/do you have cold feet? Were you able to silence the questions in your head? Did you call off your wedding because of uncertainty? Did you talk out your thoughts with a friend? Are you tired of being asked if you have cold feet?

Until then … 122 days, 17 hours, 27 minutes and 7 seconds,


2 replies on “Do you have cold feet?”

You’re right! Why DO people ask negative questions instead of phrasing them positively???? Did I have cold feet? Not really. By the time I moved to California, I knew Terrence was the man for me. There was one time, though, when I questioned if he really believed that I KNEW that. I didn’t think he thought I loved him enough. He just wasn’t used to my type of love, and was waiting for my feelings to change. They didn’t, though, and they just keep getting stronger. Your big day is almost here!! I’m SOOO excited for you, girlfriend! God bless you and Daniel!

I’m not sure they hear how it sounds … like its a question on a list that is “what to ask the engaged couple”

I dealt with a bit of that “waiting for me to change my mind” since it was our second go at making our relationship work. And now . . . we’re almost at our wedding date. I’m excited to 🙂 Thank you for your blessings!

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