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Last July I sat in Mass, studying those around me. Listening to the scripture was something I found hard to do at first, not because of the words but how I was hearing them. The words ran into each other. I struggled to find the answers that I needed and to hear the message I was hoping would appear. Aren’t we supposed to listen to The Word and find the message you’re meant to hear that day?
The months prior to this had me questioning the actions and choices I’ve made in my life. To me, some things made perfect sense and well, other situations just seemed unfair. I try my hardest to not react to situations beyond my control. Every now and then it is not so easy.
You might recall that week in your life where every waking minute seems to feel like you’ve gotten up on the wrong side of the bed. You ask God, ‘Why me?’ ‘What did I do to deserve this?’ You’re shocked to not get a response, but then the overwhelming feeling passes and you can breath again.
…Until that feeling comes back. I felt, at the time, the solution was simple, remove all outside influences. Can you really live out your life alone though? Is there a way to let others in without them marking you? I’ve learned that for me, it doesn’t seem possible. Everyone close to me, who has problems, I feel like they are my problems to. Even if I can’t do anything about it, it still eats away at me. Deep breathing helps. Sitting in the pew, those extra moments after Mass has ended and everyone clears out, also helps.
|Photo credit: http://www.flickr.com/photos/txd/18171479/|
On that day, in July, for the first time in my life, I felt at peace. Complete peace. When Mass had ended, I had decided after a long prayer and conversation, that I was going to give God my problems and in return I would do whatever it was He wanted. I didn’t realize how quickly He would call me on it. Walking out of the Sanctuary I was approached by the nun in charge, Mother Blessed Sacrament, and she asked me if I would be interested in helping out with the Church’s Youth Group. I stole a glance down the main aisle of the Sanctuary, down to the large cross that hung over the alter, turned back to her and replied yes. And that’s when I knew God would keep me at my word, and I at His.
Since that day, I continue to help out with Youth Group, I read Scripture for Sunday Mass, I help chaperone the Church’s Youth trips, and I might be teaching CCD this fall. What I didn’t know on that day in July is how much I would love every single minute of it! I feel at home and that helps with all the little things that come my way. Today the Word nourishes my soul. I hold on to that feeling every single day. And that’s how I know everything will be all right…in due time!
There’s a saying I’ve heard on a number of occasions that I find rings true, “Let go, Let God!” Today, if you have something that is weighing you down, and you’re not sure how to even begin to approach it, let it go, give it to God and have faith that it will all work out.