A Glimpse into the Future…

I stood in line waiting to place an order at the Dunkin Donuts on Main Street.  Three minutes later, 11:03 on the clock, and I’d moved about five inches.  I looked back at my husband and mouthed I LOVE YOU.  He had secured our favorite section in the corner and was now dragging a chair up to the table so all three children had their own seat.  A peaceful Sunday it would be today.  Once I get to the register that is.  Almost there, and I can rejoin my precious family.  Someone had asked for two Box of Joe’s; that is what  I heard when I reached the counter.  No problem, I smiled sweetly and placed the order. Oh, Can I add three glazed donuts with the purple frosting and pink sprinkles please?  It took two trips to get all five drinks, our donuts and bagles to the table.  Although if I hadn’t thought it would cause the babies to start a soccer match, I probably could have made it in one trip if I had used my ridiculously sized belly as a tray. 
Danny was reading the directory to the Palisades Mall in West Nyack NY, checking off all the places the girls wanted to go.  Catherine would want to go to ALL the toy stores to see where she could find something her fellow first grade friends didn’t have yet. Madison would sink into the first comfy chair she could find.  At the age of 4, she loved watching dvds from “The Big Comfy Couch” Show.  Adele, our youngest, now two, would cling to her father, because all she ever wants is daddy.

Visions of the Future come before YOU!

Buon Giorno!  How are we doing on this favoloso sabato?  I am up early, ready to face the day and all the great things to come!  Giddy Up!  Yes, that was a little Italian for you this morning, I’ll explain all about that another time though.

This morning I begin one of the first posts of my writing pieces to debut on Story Time Saturdays.  As you know everything these last couple of weeks has been revolving around affirmations.  Being able to start the day off with identifying things that we are working on and that we are grateful for; whether it has already come to pass or has yet to be.  In my prior days of writing out these thoughts on a daily basis, my mentor told me to change it up.  It is easy to wake up and write these things down.  At some point though it becomes a part of our routine, the words are written, the message is getting there but over time it can lose impact. So she said to me, take one thought that will come to be.  Visualize it.  Write down what you see.

Now to give you some clarity on what you will read later today, I will give you the journey leading to this visualization.  Four years ago I was very happy with myself.  However, I lacked a bit of focus in the love department.  I would always hear, “How are you not taken, you’re such a catch.”  I knew that I had some issues concerning relationships but wasn’t sure how to approach it.  We all want to be happy but certain aspects of our lives are confusing and honestly, we don’t want to deal with them at all if we can help it.  I didn’t want that to always be the case though.  I was ready to move forward.

In March of 2006 an affirmation pertaining to love was added to my list.  The love of my life is out there looking for me.  So then I thought where is he.  In July of 2006 I changed it to, The love of my life will find me. I am an excellent wife and mother.  As time progresses, the day changes, our priorities shift and we’re left wondering what else should we be doing.  In 2007, my affirmations became The love of my life will find me.  I am an excellent wife and mother.  I intend to send my children to school. It changed again in June to The love of my life will find me, marry me, and we’ll have tons of kids, at least four….to a ton of health children at least 5

At that point in my life I worked rather hard to understand why I was afraid of being in a committed relationship.  How could I be saying to myself every morning what a wonderful wife and mother I was and the love of my life still hadn’t found me.  I learned that it was a couple of factors coming into play that were sabotaging my attempts at committed bliss.  One day I will write in detail about this journey, so stay tuned for that…One of the main things I did learn is that in life, we get a certain picture in our head.  Especially when it comes to relationships.  We get to a point where we are comfortable and we come to expect a certain outcome.  Unfortunately, sometimes wrenches are thrown into the mix and that can throw our “pretty” picture out of whack.  My original picture of the “pretty” committed relationship was shattered.  Crazy glue would not put it back together.  Like a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle, an image would come to life and just as I was about to put in the last piece, I couldn’t find it.  Something was always missing.  I sought guidance from a complete stranger but she was someone who was experienced in helping people find their path.  She asked me the questions that I was very afraid to answer.  It meant having to face what had been bothering me and I never truly faced because I had pushed it into the farthest corner of my mind. After that session I learned a lot about myself and how the relationships I had experienced, whether it have been my own or someone else’s, had shaped and molded me without giving it a second thought.  I came to realize that I was letting past situations control me; instead of facing it, dealing with the situation, digesting it and moving on.  So I did, with help of course.  Some journeys in life do not have to be taken alone, thanks be to God for that! 

In August of 2007 my affirmation changed yet again.

I believe relationships can be a good thing if I let them be.
I choose to be in a committed relationship with someone who loves and respects me.
I have the power to control the way my life unfolds, in marriage and the number of children I have.
I am allowing and flexible in relationships with men while still holding true to my own beliefs.

I am open and honest, and excellent with communication with everyone that I have a relationship with, romantic or otherwise.

In November of 2007, I found myself in a committed relationship.  Imagine that.  So the post to follow later today is what I wrote a few months later, instead of my normal list of positive affirmations. I wrote a vision, A Glimpse Into The Future.

Let me know if you have ever tried this particular visualization technique.  Of course there are other visualization techniques and I will share another kind that I have used next Therapeutic Thursday, so STAY Tuned for that.

Until then
djrelat7

PS: My affirmation about love now states: 
I believe relationships are a good thing if I allow them to be.
I am thankful for my healthy committed relationship with a man who loves me and respects me.
I am grateful for the power to control how my life unfolds.
I am allowing and flexible with the men in my life while holding true to my convictions.
I am open, honest and excellent at communication with everyone I have a relationship with romantic or otherwise.

Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

By the end of my vacation I had finished reading Eat Pray Love and was very sad.  You follow Liz on this amazing quest to find balance and inner peace and you just wish you had a year to take off and do the same thing!

I cheered up a bit when I read that there was a continuation in Committed, as Elizabeth shares with us her journey of marriage with the sophisticated champion she meets in Bali.  Let me know if you’ve read it or have it to read!  It is on my to BUY list.

leave you with this last quote that made me feel at ease as I knew Liz finally found what she needed.

Prayer bead 87 or Chapter 87…
“…I’ve been here only a few weeks and I feel a rather mission-accomplished sensation already.  The task in Indonesia was to search for balance, but I don’t feel like I’m searching for anything anymore because the balance has somehow naturally come into place.  It’s not that I’m becoming Balinese (no more than I ever became Italian or Indian) but only this– I can feel my own peace, and I love the swing of my days between easeful devotional practices and the pleasures of beautiful landscape, dear friends and good food.  I’ve been praying a lot lately, comfortably and frequently.  Most of the time, I find that I want to pray when I’m on my bicycle, riding home from Ketut’s house through the monkey forest and the rice terraces in the dusky late afternoon.  I pray, of course, not to be hit by another bus, or jumped by a monkey or bit by a dog, but that’s just superfluous; most of my prayers and expressions of sheer gratitude for the fullness of my contentment.  I have never felt less burdened by myself or by the world...”

Prayer can be such a powerful tool in our lives, to get us through the bad and remind us of the good!

Until then
djrelat7

PS Stay Tuned as I share with you my thoughts on the end of Harry Potter #7

When I Was Puerto Rican

By Esmeralda Santiago

“…On the way home Mami kept asking what had happened, and I kept mumbling, “Nothing. Nothing happened,” ashamed that, after all the hours of practice with Mrs. Johnson, Mr. Barone, and Mr. Gatti, after the expense of new clothes and shoes, after Mami had to take a day off from work to take me into Manhattan, after all that, I had failed the audition and would never, ever, get out of Brooklyn. …”

Over the past year I wondered why there was never a Latin American Section in bookstores.  I  love reading and decided to start reading Spanish authors.  But where to find them?  I subscribed to Latina.com, a magazine that also has a website with good reads.  On occasion they post their top 10 books to read for the summer and I finally got the push I needed to start on my quest.  
Esmeralda paints a beautiful picture of the role of the mother in When I Was Puerto Rican: A Memoir.  I’d like to think that her mami’s strong spirit got rubbed off on Esmeralda; molding her into the young strong girl who has a happy ending.  In this life we need more happy endings.  To know that despite everything that comes our way, the worst in life is only temporary and can change in the blink of an eye.  Those changes are a result of the things that WE DECIDE to change.

Keep that in mind on this lovely Saturday morning :)

Until then
djrelat7

The Lovely Bones

The Lovely Bones
by Alice Sebold

“My name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie.  I was fourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973…” 

I started reading this book in January while at Jury Duty.  I purchased this book in 2002 and after getting it home I couldn’t understand what had compelled me to buy it so it stayed on my bookshelf until I finally packed it into a box and put it in storage.  A friend of mine gave me her copy in August and insisted I read it.  Jury Duty seemed like a good time if any to read it.  The Lovely Bones is a must read.

The first page or so left me fighting back tears as this young girl describes her murder, how heaven is for her and how her loved ones are effected.  After the first chapter I put it down for a few months and picked it back up in April.  I won’t go into great detail in case you haven’t read it but it was one of the most moving stories I have ever read. 

Children are precious.  I do not have children yet but I could not EVER imagine having to go through the loss of a child to such horrid means.  It is a scary thought to teach your child the dangers of strangers and to yet be polite and respectful simultaneously. 

My heart goes out to those who have lost a child, by any means.  If you haven’t read this and plan to do so, you’ll read it and never be the same!

Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below.

Until then
Djrelat7