A Glimpse into the Future…

I stood in line waiting to place an order at the Dunkin Donuts on Main Street.  Three minutes later, 11:03 on the clock, and I’d moved about five inches.  I looked back at my husband and mouthed I LOVE YOU.  He had secured our favorite section in the corner and was now dragging a chair up to the table so all three children had their own seat.  A peaceful Sunday it would be today.  Once I get to the register that is.  Almost there, and I can rejoin my precious family.  Someone had asked for two Box of Joe’s; that is what  I heard when I reached the counter.  No problem, I smiled sweetly and placed the order. Oh, Can I add three glazed donuts with the purple frosting and pink sprinkles please?  It took two trips to get all five drinks, our donuts and bagles to the table.  Although if I hadn’t thought it would cause the babies to start a soccer match, I probably could have made it in one trip if I had used my ridiculously sized belly as a tray. 
Danny was reading the directory to the Palisades Mall in West Nyack NY, checking off all the places the girls wanted to go.  Catherine would want to go to ALL the toy stores to see where she could find something her fellow first grade friends didn’t have yet. Madison would sink into the first comfy chair she could find.  At the age of 4, she loved watching dvds from “The Big Comfy Couch” Show.  Adele, our youngest, now two, would cling to her father, because all she ever wants is daddy.

Visions of the Future come before YOU!

Buon Giorno!  How are we doing on this favoloso sabato?  I am up early, ready to face the day and all the great things to come!  Giddy Up!  Yes, that was a little Italian for you this morning, I’ll explain all about that another time though.

This morning I begin one of the first posts of my writing pieces to debut on Story Time Saturdays.  As you know everything these last couple of weeks has been revolving around affirmations.  Being able to start the day off with identifying things that we are working on and that we are grateful for; whether it has already come to pass or has yet to be.  In my prior days of writing out these thoughts on a daily basis, my mentor told me to change it up.  It is easy to wake up and write these things down.  At some point though it becomes a part of our routine, the words are written, the message is getting there but over time it can lose impact. So she said to me, take one thought that will come to be.  Visualize it.  Write down what you see.

Now to give you some clarity on what you will read later today, I will give you the journey leading to this visualization.  Four years ago I was very happy with myself.  However, I lacked a bit of focus in the love department.  I would always hear, “How are you not taken, you’re such a catch.”  I knew that I had some issues concerning relationships but wasn’t sure how to approach it.  We all want to be happy but certain aspects of our lives are confusing and honestly, we don’t want to deal with them at all if we can help it.  I didn’t want that to always be the case though.  I was ready to move forward.

In March of 2006 an affirmation pertaining to love was added to my list.  The love of my life is out there looking for me.  So then I thought where is he.  In July of 2006 I changed it to, The love of my life will find me. I am an excellent wife and mother.  As time progresses, the day changes, our priorities shift and we’re left wondering what else should we be doing.  In 2007, my affirmations became The love of my life will find me.  I am an excellent wife and mother.  I intend to send my children to school. It changed again in June to The love of my life will find me, marry me, and we’ll have tons of kids, at least four….to a ton of health children at least 5

At that point in my life I worked rather hard to understand why I was afraid of being in a committed relationship.  How could I be saying to myself every morning what a wonderful wife and mother I was and the love of my life still hadn’t found me.  I learned that it was a couple of factors coming into play that were sabotaging my attempts at committed bliss.  One day I will write in detail about this journey, so stay tuned for that…One of the main things I did learn is that in life, we get a certain picture in our head.  Especially when it comes to relationships.  We get to a point where we are comfortable and we come to expect a certain outcome.  Unfortunately, sometimes wrenches are thrown into the mix and that can throw our “pretty” picture out of whack.  My original picture of the “pretty” committed relationship was shattered.  Crazy glue would not put it back together.  Like a 500 piece jigsaw puzzle, an image would come to life and just as I was about to put in the last piece, I couldn’t find it.  Something was always missing.  I sought guidance from a complete stranger but she was someone who was experienced in helping people find their path.  She asked me the questions that I was very afraid to answer.  It meant having to face what had been bothering me and I never truly faced because I had pushed it into the farthest corner of my mind. After that session I learned a lot about myself and how the relationships I had experienced, whether it have been my own or someone else’s, had shaped and molded me without giving it a second thought.  I came to realize that I was letting past situations control me; instead of facing it, dealing with the situation, digesting it and moving on.  So I did, with help of course.  Some journeys in life do not have to be taken alone, thanks be to God for that! 

In August of 2007 my affirmation changed yet again.

I believe relationships can be a good thing if I let them be.
I choose to be in a committed relationship with someone who loves and respects me.
I have the power to control the way my life unfolds, in marriage and the number of children I have.
I am allowing and flexible in relationships with men while still holding true to my own beliefs.

I am open and honest, and excellent with communication with everyone that I have a relationship with, romantic or otherwise.

In November of 2007, I found myself in a committed relationship.  Imagine that.  So the post to follow later today is what I wrote a few months later, instead of my normal list of positive affirmations. I wrote a vision, A Glimpse Into The Future.

Let me know if you have ever tried this particular visualization technique.  Of course there are other visualization techniques and I will share another kind that I have used next Therapeutic Thursday, so STAY Tuned for that.

Until then
djrelat7

PS: My affirmation about love now states: 
I believe relationships are a good thing if I allow them to be.
I am thankful for my healthy committed relationship with a man who loves me and respects me.
I am grateful for the power to control how my life unfolds.
I am allowing and flexible with the men in my life while holding true to my convictions.
I am open, honest and excellent at communication with everyone I have a relationship with romantic or otherwise.

What’s on your affirmation list?

How are you on this marvelous Thursday?  I am grateful that it is ALMOST FRIDAY!! WOOHOOO!  But on a serious note, have you given the affirmations a try, if you’ve never done them before?  Are you waking up and being grateful for all the things you have, all the things you are, and all the things to come?  Are you saying to yourself right now, that I’m a little crazy?  Hey, that’s ok!  You are entitled to your own opinion.  However, it is none of my business what you think of me :)  Maybe you’ll change your mind once you get to hear examples of the things that I wrote out, on a daily basis when I would first wake up in the morning, in the weeks to come. I have found that reminding yourself of all the things you want to be directs you on your path of what you will be; of what you already are.

I have to say, after starting them up again, it changes the way I see the day.  I seem to smile more and laugh more.  I get this calm sense of purpose with a side of giddiness.  Waking up with an attitude of gratitude, seems to change the way I see the world, and I like it!   I’m excited to hear all about how affirmations are going for you, so feel free to drop in a line in a comment.

Stay Tuned for this coming Story Time Saturday, where I share with you a technique in a variation of affirmations that is just as powerful as writing them out every day. It’ll show you how to change things up from time to time.

Until then
djrelat7

The Power of Affirmations

Hello again, fellow readers! I hope that you are thoroughly enjoying your summer. :-) This month, I was asked to write about mental restructuring. In other words, what can we say to ourselves to reinforce positive progress or goals?
Why is Mental Restructuring Important?
It is important, because if you make the decision to make permanent or long lasting change, it cannot happen without changing your mindset. It is about “getting your mind right” or becoming mentally prepared for the things that you want. Part of that has to do with the things that you say to yourself on a regular basis. A lot of us have a tendency to say things to ourselves that we would think twice about saying to an enemy. James C. Allen wrote a book called, “As A Man Thinketh“, which is all about the importance of our thoughts and how they affect the outcomes of our lives. Mr. Allen once said, “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.”
Whatever you think… is. If you think that you are fat and lazy and no one could ever love you for you, then you are correct. If you believe that you are fat and lazy, then that will be your excuse as to why you don’t exercise or why you choose not to make a real effort to do the things that you know that you need to do. As far as the love relationships go, you may find someone that loves you, but because you’ve hidden your true nature under a bunch of layers, the ones who loves you can only love the mask, not the real you. So, as I said, whatever you
think… is.
How to Get Your Mind Right
There are plenty of ways to go about getting your mind right: hypnosis, meditation, prayer, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), and more. One of the ways that people do it is through affirmations. Everything that you say to yourself is an affirmation of some sort. You have the power to change things in your life simply by making positive affirmations every day. Things like, ” I never catch a break”, “everything always goes wrong”, “I am so broke”, “I am such a fat loser”, are all examples of things NOT to say, but I’m sure all of you have said one or more of these statements, or worse, to yourself at one point or another. I’m sure statements like these don’t make you feel good. As such, your negative emotions are what is put out there and negativity is what you get in return. Whereas, the reverse is true with positive affirmations. If you think that you are a magnet for great things and wonderful opportunities and truly believe that, then that is what you will speak into existence.
I’ve heard two different points of view regarding affirmations. On one hand, I’ve heard that you should say positive affirmations even when they aren’t true or if you don’t believe it. On the other hand, I’ve heard that if you don’t believe the affirmations, then they won’t work for you. Whether or not this is true I am not sure, but I know it can’t hurt you. As a matter of fact, I think it is important to develop a habit of positive self talk as soon as possible. I believe that it can totally change your life. There’s no time like the present to get started!
So What Do You Say?
Affirmations are so simple. In fact, you are already doing it. We just need to tweak it a little. Here are some tips.
Most affirmations start with “I am”, but they don’t have to. Here are a couple examples. “My body is amazing.” “My health is improving every day.”
All affirmations should be in the present tense. You cannot change the past and the future is something that always occurs later. You only have this moment. The present. Right now. That is why your affirmations should focus on the present.
Affirmations should be positive and should use positive words. “I don’t overeat,” is not a good affirmation, because “don’t” is a negative word. “I only eat when I am hungry,” or “I eat until I am full,” both say the same thing as the first affirmation, but they are positive.
Keep your affirmation straight and to the point. Shorter affirmations are easier to remember and repeat. Shorter affirmations have more of an impact. Wordy affirmations lose their power.
How Do I Do Them?
A lot of people think that they can just say them out loud and that is all, but there is more to it, if you want them to work for you.
Before you begin, I suggest taking a few deep breaths to clear out any mental residue so that you can concentrate. When saying your affirmations, say them with feeling. Say them like you believe what you are saying. If the affirmations aren’t true, then imagine what it would feel like if they were true. Allow yourself to bask in those feelings. Repeat the affirmations. It feels really good to repeat them. Say your affirmations how ever many times feels right to you.
If you find it hard to say your affirmations in the beginning, then I highly suggest starting with things for which you are grateful. Gratitude is an extremely powerful affirmation. I wrote about it on my blog, Big Diva Hq. You can find the post here: http://bigdivahq.com/personal-development/be-grateful/ It may be hard for you to say an affirmation that is not true, but using gratitude really helps. For example, “I am healthy”, may be hard for you to say and feel, so find something about your health or your body for which you can be thankful. You can say, “I am grateful that I am making healthy eating choices”, or “I am grateful for going to the gym last night”, or “I am grateful for making a commitment to living a healthier lifestyle.” “I am grateful for taking the first step towards having a healthier body.” See the difference?
Do your affirmations daily. Consistency is the key here. Affirmations are a great way to start your day. They put you in a great frame of mind. I feel great after I say my affirmations and that feeling is carried with me throughout the day no matter what happens.
When you get into the habit of speaking positivity and love to yourself and you will be greatly rewarded in life. I can personally guarantee that, so give it a try! Best wishes on your journey! :-)
Ms. Pillowz

Stay Tuned

In a matter of minutes, you’ll get to read a very powerful blog.  I introduced the topic last week with the definition of the affirmation and the goal of becoming a STRONGER MINDED YOU!  Let me just say that Webster has nothing on Ms. Pillowz.  She graces us again this month with a message that I hope you really hear or can jump in the discussion and share!  Don’t forget to stop by her blog and read on gratitude at Big Diva Hq. http://bigdivahq.com/personal-development/be-grateful/! Enjoy!

Until then
djrelat7

What’s going through your mind?…Inquiring minds want to know!

On this gorgeous Wednesday morning, I ask you What Is UP With YOU!!?  What are the thoughts you had when you first woke up this morning?  Were you thankful for waking up, getting to experience a new day and excited to find all of life’s surprises?   OR were you annoyed that the alarm went off, you realize you set it WAY to early and now you can’t fall back to sleep so you’re going to lie in bed with a face on because in a few moments you have to go to work and you DON’T WANT TO?  I am the latter.  The remote control might make it better except that its too far from the bed so I can’t escape at the moment to join all of my favorite dvr’d characters.  It wasn’t always this way though for me.  That is not to say that I am not grateful for waking up today, but I’m not entirely sure I’m excited for what the day has in store for me.

A few years back, I definitely would have responded LOUD AND CLEAR with the first option.  I was the energetic, in your face (politely, cause I love my personal space to) let’s take on the world and set it on fire just to see the pretty lights, and was SUPER excited about the day to come.  It was because I was focused.  Nowadays I am a little scattered, nothing wrong with that, except that I don’t feel like me anymore.  So I have been thinking, what did I do back then, that I don’t do now, that reminded me of the awesome person I am and of all the great things to come?  One word comes to mind: AFFIRMATIONS!

Webster says:

Main Entry: af·fir·ma·tion 
Pronunciation: \ˌa-fər-ˈmā-shən\
Function: noun
Date: 15th century

1 a : the act of affirming b : something affirmed : a positive assertion

hmmm, ok what is to affirm?

Main Entry: af·firm 
Pronunciation: \ə-ˈfərm\
Function: verb
Etymology: Middle English affermen, from Anglo-French afermer, from Latin affirmare, from ad- + firmare to make firm, from firmus firm — more at firm
Date: 14th century

transitive verb 1 a : validate, confirm b : to state positively ed his innocence>
2 : to assert (as a judgment or decree) as valid or confirmed
3 : to express dedication to
intransitive verb 1 : to testify or declare by affirmation as distinguished from swearing an oath

I used to do mental and written affirmations.  I would write them out first in the morning and again when I went to sleep.  Having written reminders of your strengths and working on your weaknesses, it definitely makes for a mentally strong person.

So, now that Webster expressed to you what I mean by affirmations, I will let it sit and marinate.  You might be doing affirmations already and that is awesome!  Hit me up and maybe you can share it with everyone in a blog :)   This will be a recurring theme throughout the next months, making for a strong minded you, specifically me, but you to if you want to come along for the ride, so STAY TUNED and look for Affirmations!

Until then
djrelat7