Marriage relationships Soulful Soulful Sundays

Marriage, For Better & Worse? Or Just For The Better?

I just wanted to throw this question out there, WHAT DOES MARRIAGE MEAN TO YOU?

so many times i see couples split up in DIVORCE

so many times i see the guy who hits his wife and she STAYS

so many times i hear about the guy who gets hit by his wife and CRIES

so many times i hear it just didn’t work out and they go their separate WAYS

so many times i see her driving by his “friend’s” house to see if she catches him with another CHIC

so many times i see him flip through her phone to see who she’s been talking to

split bank accounts, sold houses, crying kids, broken hearts, cut up pictures

where’s the love? And understand I KNOW love is not necessarily enough ALL THE TIME…where’s the understanding that MARRIAGE IS NOT EASY? Sometimes we don’t even want to deal with ourselves never mind someone else but i think if you’re going to do it, fly out to Vegas and have the king do it  in the Chapel Of Love.  But before you do, make sure you believe within the depths of your soul that it is you and this other person TIL DEATH DO YOU PART!

Now I’m not saying commit murder, because Lord knows it’ll cross your mind like reruns of Friends and Sex And The City.  You might watch it every single day two to three times a day on four different channels to the point you get so fed up that you go down to best buy on black friday and just buy the WHOLE series box special.

But where is the trust?  Where is the faith? I know there may be days when we can’t get enough of each other just like there are days when we don’t want to see each other for another second…I know we might not like each other everyday, but i know we’ll love each other til death do us part!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that all divorces are bad. There are circumstances that require it and I don’t bestow that on anyone, to stay in an unhealthy relationship.  However, I think that divorce has become such an easy thing to do, that so many people just give up on relationships that just needed a little more tending to.  Some of us get so caught up in all the little things that go wrong that we forget to take a moment to appreciate all the great things going on in our lives.  I am not married yet but when I do, I know for a fact that it will be for better and worse and not just for the better.

So what do you think is the meaning of marriage? Do you think that, nowadays, couples throw in the towel too soon?  Some say marriage is overrated, but I’m betting it can be something out of this world.

Until then,

7 replies on “Marriage, For Better & Worse? Or Just For The Better?”

I do agree with you that many couples aren’t willing to do the hard work and stick it out in marriage. It is pretty easy to get a divorce and instead of going through the down times, they choose to call up their lawyers and get ready to rumble.

I believe too, that so many people rush into marriage. A lot of people don’t even know who they are yet. Ideally you should grow together with your spouse, but sometimes you find that what your needs and wants change as you mature. Things that you once thought were deal breakers really aren’t. You won’t leave him if he leaves the toilet seat up or forgets your anniversary. lol Or those things that you tolerated really are serious issues. You didn’t like that he belittles you about your weight, but you accepted it. Now, you’ve got a special pot of grits on the stove, ready for him to say something else. lol

I am in my 30s and I’m a completely different person than I was in my 20s. I really don’t trust that I would have married the best person for me at that time. My self esteem was low and I probably would have accepted utter nonsense just to be connected. I can look back at past boyfriends and see that many were unworthy, but I let it slide just to say that I had a boyfriend whose abs Billy Blanks envied. (Flashback moment! Lawd…) Sorry about that. :p

I’m at a much better place now and know me a lot more, so I am confident that I would make a much better choice of a husband and father to my kids. I say all that to say, that we all change, but being in a place of maturity and having better knowledge and love for self can help you make a much better selection to stick it out with.

Sorry for my book and the soapbox… lol

Such a good post. I agree completely and have said countless times that divorse is something that I don’t understand and definitely would never put myself nor my children through (whenever it is I have them – that is). People have to understand that marriage is just like life – shit happens. You can’t just divorse your car when it’s engine blows – well – at least not easily – haha. Unless you want to go blow a good amount of money on another one (to that point: cars and women are so similar – just kidding – partially ;-P ).

Nonetheless – people need to slow things down – REALLY find each other and THEN get married and during it learn to DEAL with things and not blow up. Patience is key to a lot of things – women – I mean marriage – being one of them. 🙂

ms. pillowz I appreciate and always welcome your thoughts! Just newly turning 30, i can say that I agree, although ironically who I thought I would marry at 20 is the same person I plan to marry today. However, my mind over the past 10 years, has been a roller coaster of finding myself, understanding myself and accepting myself. I have grown as a person and I am one of the fortunate that has gotten to witness, letting someone go and believing if it was meant to be, then it will. I think if I didn’t take that roller coaster ride, I would have never been able to appreciate the man I know today and be certain without a shadow of a doubt that we were meant to be! You’re so right, if I hadn’t found my love for self, then things may have lead me in an entirely different direction.

thanks mrRua for your thoughts! You’re ahead of the game to realize that it takes time to get to know someone and learn over that time if that person is the one you could commit yourself to for as long as you both shall live. People do lack patience and that is the biggest problem. I thank God every day for daniel, Lord knows he has been given so MUCH patience. LOL I also think that it has a great deal to do with Pride, another pretty P word. Some EGOS are so big that little things cause great dents to them and they fear that makes them weak and who wants a weak ego?

I read a book recently, Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. Yes the same author as Eat Pray Love. It is the most interesting investigation into marriage; where it came from, where it didn’t come from, who banned it at one point in history, and many other wonderful facts as well as her journey into her marriage.

I highly recommend it to anyone thinking about getting married, in a marriage or wishes they could get married. I particularly like what she wrote about infatuation or having a crush is like being addicted to drugs; you can’t live without it, you want it all the time, you can’t imagine life without it. That was paraphrased of course.

It will change the way you think about marriage and what it really takes to be in a healthy relationship, married or otherwise.


Wait til ya get married! 😉

Seriously though, I think that a lot of divorces stem from communication problems and from couples allowing their relationship to take a backseat to everything else in their lives. A marriage will not run well on auto-pilot — in fact, that's a good way to make it crash and burn.

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