Do we agree that Valentine’s Day, Easter, and Christmas are known for their Hallmark promotions? We rush to the store in search of the perfect card that tells how we feel to the loved one that receives it. I love you. Hope you have a HOPPING good time! I hope SANTA brought you everything off your wish list! … We spend these holidays buying gifts, cards and pretty outfits. Has marriage become another affair we can tag as a Hallmark holiday?
This past Friday, Daniel and I, met up with our Youth Group at church. Father Elio spoke excitedly about the book, “The Theology of the Body” by our former Pope, John Paul II. He discusses the importance of understanding the purpose of our bodies.
We began with reading out loud from the book and after each brief passage we went around the room sharing what we thought the words we were hearing meant. Can we agree that when we hear different passages of the Bible, the words can mean different things to each of us? Life experiences shape us. Memories come flooding back as the words we interpret evoke emotion. A passage I read may mean something completely different for you when you read it. Or maybe we hear the words the same.
Daniel and I continued the group’s discussion on Saturday. Daniel pointed out that the act of getting married seems to have shifted focus from two people becoming one to the details of the actual wedding day. I agreed. So much time is spent looking for the perfect dress, visiting different venues and creating a guest list. A couple falls in love, decides to spend the rest of their lives with each other, but does that focus shift. Daniel and I talk about our parenting styles and mention how we’ll spend our money. We know we’ll have a space in our future home for devotion to our Lord and our Lady. This is before we even begin to think of what our wedding day will look like.
If a couple does not discuss what their life will look like down the road how do they know they’re on the same page?
When I was little I knew what the logical progression of my life was supposed to be. School, find a guy, get married, and have kids. I didn’t put much thought into what my wedding day would look like. I know that’s weird right? Little girls are supposed to dream about their wedding day but that’s not where my mind was. I did think of the details of the “big” day as I got older. Now that I’ve found the One my mind is more on our future than the actual day. It’s more about how we connect with each other.
This is not to say that when the time comes to discuss details of our wedding day, it won’t be taken lightly. However, the focus will remain on becoming ONE before God. We’ll be a team. We’ll be … one.
Some people spend over a year planning out the details of their wedding day. This is not a bad thing. If you’ve planned your own wedding or helped a friend with theirs, you know there are a lot of details to a wedding celebration. However, I wonder if we, society as a whole, spent as much time planning our marriage as we do with planning the actual festivities, would we have such a high divorce rate? If we shifted the focus on the couple melting into each other until death parted them, would that make a difference? Are we properly prepared for marriage?
What are YOUR thoughts? Do you think marriages in general, have become another Hallmark Holiday?